Clever Like Me

GED to PHD?

Patterns of Behavior

on June 30, 2013

At our core is all we are just the patterns of behavior we’ve developed or can a person truly and deeply change? I have been able to successfully change my behavior by fully dedicating myself to school and homework, but not when it comes to social aspects of my life. Why am I falling back into comfortable routines that are probably going to do more damage than good? Can 3 weeks of dedication to school say anything about future success?

I slept with Lincoln and I don’t feel guilty about it. I should clarify the he did apologize for the remark he made out of the blue and we did set some personal boundaries. The night we spent together was fun and amazing and the best thing I’ve done in a while. The part I do feel guilty about is the time I’ve been spending thinking about him. Here I am in my blog about school dedicating a whole paragraph to him. I’m not in love, I’m under the influence of powerful hormones but is this weakness we all have to other people enough to derail ambitious people? What about newly ambitions people like me? Is the excitement I feel for school become replaced with the excitement of seeing him and if so what happens when he’s no longer in all my classes?

Speaking of my classes, finally, they have been going very well. I am still working ahead of my psychology class and I am able to answer every question with ease.  My sociology class is a little different. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to know. The midterm is chapters 1 – 7 and that’s all we’ve been told. No study guide, no hints as to what theories or event will be covered. Therefore, I have been reading the book and attending all the lectures. I would like to do very well on the tests but I’m concerned that since this class is graded based entirely on test scores I will retain the wrong information and fail.

On a happier note my financial aid has officially been approved! After they reviewed my appeal I had to meet with an adviser and the contract was approved today. I made the last $300 payment for summer and my fall tuition is going to be at the very least partially paid for. I planned myself a little birthday get away to celebrate.

Here’s hoping that my hormones return to normal and that someone really can change their patterns of behavior so I can continue to do well in school.

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